What sucks is that this is probably a five minute fix. Somebody at my hosting provider could log in as root and manually set my cgi-bin's directory to something reasonable, and everything would start working again. But I can't raise anybody at my hosting provider. I have a dozen different IM numbers and email addresses, and nobody's responding to any of 'em.
I got the mediatemple account this morning, and I'm working on migrating things over. I'm gonna make things more portable as I go, mainly because I'm a PHP noob and I hardcoded everything. I'm not too worried about that, though. It's mostly a search-n-replace kind of thing.
DAMN!
Update: I finally got through to someone (via his pager of all things). They looked at the logs and it appears that some kind of new site-protection gizmo that they installed was resetting my account because it saw me sending out lots of emails at once. Of course (1) those emails are daily high scores (2) those emails are completely optional and (3) those emails are turned off by default. So they're NOT SPAM!